SIDS Rant

My post yesterday about bumper pads got me thinking about a good ol' SIDS rant that needs to come out. Before I start my rant I'll state upfront that I've never known anyone that has lost a baby from SIDS. If I did I'm sure that my perspective would be vastly different. It would destroy your life, and I'm sure that you would want to do absolutely everything to ensure that didn't happen to another baby. And I'll also say that of course all the things that we have learned as a culture over the past 20 years are important.

I just feel the SIDS stuff is TOO MUCH!! From the moment of having this wonderful baby step into our lives, we were burdened with the terrifying fear that our baby, for no reason whatsoever, could simply die. To me, this fear manifested itself into multiple 'alive checks' each day. I would watch for that dear little tummy to rise and fall and breath a sigh of relief. The first night she slept through the night I woke up in a cold sweat, rushing in to her crib to check that she was okay.

This fear has created a massive consumerism in Western culture--like expensive monitors with alarms if your child doesn't move for a certain period of time, mattresses with 'specific SIDS safe firmness', sleep sacks to avoid suffocation, 'safe sleep' books that parents pore over word by word. When we left the hospital Sophie was supposed to have sat in her carseat buckled up for 90 MINUTES to make sure that she wouldn't have some kind of cardiac arrest due to the stress of her carseat on the drive home. Luckily using midwives we snuck past that hoop. I'm sorry, we live 10 mins. away--Sophie was so 'stressed' that she slept the entire time. It just seemed a little ridiculous to me. And then we wonder why new parents are overanxious and stressed out? With this new world of research it's a wonder that any of us survived our own childhoods!!

And yet, within me, I still strive to do everything 'right'. I have pored over the pages and pages of 'safe sleep' information and followed them to the letter. I, too, am plagued by the fear that if I don't 'obey' all of these 'rules' then we could become a statistic. The stakes are just too high.

At the beginning, when we were co-sleeping with Sophie, I resented the voice in the back of my mind worrying that she might not be safe with me. The rational part of me knew that it is silly to think that a baby isn't safe cradled in her mom's arms. That's probably the safest place a baby could be. (As an aside, I read that there has never been a documented case of SIDS with co-sleeping. Suffocation (usually because of medication or alcohol) yes, but SIDS no). Anyway, at that moment of bliss, snuggling and snoozing with my new love, I resented that part of my brain was nagging to me.

So this dischord lives within me--on one hand thinking to myself "Bumper pads and stuffed animals are not going to make or break my hearty child's ability to live on this planet." while the little voice in the back of my head plays the terrifying 'what if...' game. I hate it and I resent it.

I have to admit that I was relieved with Sophie hit the 7 month mark--where SIDS occurances decrease significantly. But, as my recent Today's Parent article stated--it can still happen beyond a year. They highlighted a woman who had lost her 18 month old (I think that was the age...around there) to SIDS. They had another article about how some research has shown that pacifiers decrease SIDS occurances. I'm sorry, I just don't buy that. I just don't. Call me what you will.

All of this SIDS stuff reminds me of what I have heard about the book "The Culture of Fear" that is on my 'to read' booklist. That fear drives capitalism. If we only can buy that 'video baby monitor/ home alarm system/ oxygen mask and 80 days of canned food in the basement" then we will be okay.

So, yes, the bumper pads are still on Sophie's crib. And she is just waking up from her nap. So far so good.