Wilderness Women

This weekend Sophie had her first weekend in the woods. So wonderful to be able to take beautifully clean deep breaths. This annual weekend away is always a highlight. To be surrounded by such inspirational women who have done incredible things (like kayak Greenland, published travel books, live in the arctic to mention a few). To share that weekend with Sophie was something I was extremely excited about. And this year I was so happy to have my mother-in-law Wendy at the weekend.

Anyway, this blog is about life-lessons learned....This weekend the lesson I learned is that I'm a mom first right now. And sometimes that means sacrificing. And sometimes that sucks. For some reason Sophie found it too stimulating in the main building of the conference. I think it was too loud for her. Anyway, she was so fussy and upset so much of the time in that room (which is where basically the entire weekend takes place). She wanted to nurse non-stop for comfort, but that was really exausting me and starting to hurt me. I would bring her back to the cabin and she would be absolutely fine. Totally normal and herself. So we would go back and repeat the above process.

So Saturday night I was feeling sorry for myself, having a little pity party in the cabin something like "poor me, poor me, etc. I came all this way, and have looked forward to this and it isn't what I thought it would be. I'm SOO tired. Repeat...". At some point I started having fun playing with Sophie. Or I just stopped and really looked at her in her eyes. She wasn't trying to make me not have a good time. She was genuinely bothered by something in that space. And it was really neat that she could communicate that to me (Yes, I was a little slow to realize it, but I did get it after a bit).
I am going to have the rest of my life to go to coffeehouses, and have independence, and socialize with women. This is such a small window of time that I am going to ache for in the future. So yes, I missed hearing Jenn's story about her son getting his potty stuck on his head at the coffeehouse (which was a hilarious and true story she told! Even the next day version was still really funny!) but I snuggled next to my sweet, milky breath baby and fell asleep listening to the rain outside.

So yes- I have to admit that the weekend was disappointing. I didn't really go to any workshops (sort of to one), and I felt like I didn't get to talk to several women that I only get to see that one weekend. I didn't sleep well because I was worried about Soph. At many points of the weekend I just wished it was over so that I could be at home. But despite all of this I'm still glad that I went. There were lots of great parts- like hanging out in the cabin and laughing with our cabin-mates. Wendy's friend Liz had a blunt but true quote after I left to go back to the cabin at dinner on Saturday night. "Sometimes motherhood sucks". Too funny. Maybe it's a weird martyrdom thing, but I feel like more of a mom after this past weekend.