My Mom's Lionheart

I wrote in a previous post about how Sophie has received her lionheart from my mom.

Yesterday my mom had her second major G.I. surgery in 6 months. With both surgeries she has had to wait for months, weeks, and many days until there was a slot for her. Not only did she have to wait, but for most of this time she did not even know how long the waiting would continue. She has been in incredible amounts of pain, and has suffered through several infections as a result of this waiting.

What is incredible about this situation is the amount of strength my mom has shown. She has been living with Crohn's disease for the past 13 years, with many roadblocks to her life, yet she remains the most positive person in my life.

She lives each day of her life with courage, bravery, patience and grace. I'm realizing just how hard it is to live with that combination--courage to endure, be strong and fight, and grace to accept limitations, and remain centred and whole.

Since her diagnosis, my mom has often said that she feels sad about what she is not able to do for me. For what she has missed out doing for all three of us. But, the truth is, that despite the obstacles she faces, she does so much for me.

My mom is a born caregiver. She has an incredible ability to empathize, and therefore give people exactly what they need. People sense this about her. Once, when she was having carpet installed in her private practice room to soundproof it, the Sears man ended up telling my mom all about his difficult childhood. Like when I was little wrapping me in cozy sheets and pillows on the couch, feeding me eggs chopped up (just how I liked them) and toast in fingers. Like cutting my hair on our picnic table in the backyard and explaining to me that my hair would make one very lucky bird so happy to use in its nest. Always giving my sisters trouble when they said I was an accident, and quickly assuring me that I was the most pleasant surprise she had ever received. Always being in my corner. Always telling me how proud and how much she loves me.

She still gives me everything that I need. Two weeks ago, when Sophie and I spent a week with my mom, she apologized beforehand, saying that she wouldn't be able to help me much because she is not well. When I arrived she had, in so many ways, gone out of her way to make me happy and comfortable. Making me peanut butter cookies (my favourite), giving me support around Sophie's sleep stuff, mending my favourite t-shirt (it's actually disintigrating!!), making quiche, offering to sleep in her unfinished basement so that Sophie and I could be upstairs (I couldn't believe that one!!!). I can't even begin to articulate the big and small ways that my mom makes my life a better place to be.

Today I am feeling very thankful for modern medicine. As much as I have been extremely frustrated with the health care system the past year I want to say thank you. Thank you to the surgeon. Thank you to the nurses. But above all, thank you to my mom. For being a shining example of what a mom is. For continuing to fill me each and every time we speak or see one another. For teaching me about beauty in this world. About loving the small things in life. Overcoming adversity. I am so proud of my mom. And so very, very thankful for having been given the gift of her in my life.